Two Adults, One Baby: :.three months.:

Harper turned three months old yesterday. How that happened? I have no idea. I can't handle how fast time is flying. Everyone warns you, "don't blink" "they grow up so fast" "they grow over night" and yet I didn't get it. I didn't let myself realize it and now I'm living it and crying on the inside..and sometimes the outside..at how fast its all going. My newborn isn't a newborn anymore. She's a full on baby that has a personality and a real schedule and does big baby things like coo, and play with toys, and stand up (with our help..obviously) and roll and I can't really handle it.

Everyone is always so sweet in asking Preston and I how it's going and how new parenthood is. It honestly is great and we love it. We've had our moments of chaos and exhaustion in which we question why we decided to have a child or in which we swear we aren't having another. Then the sun rises and we've lived another day and we are back to being filled with the purest joy. I'm realizing that being a parent means a lot of confusion, happiness, frustration, love, worry and annoyance but truly the biggest emotion that comes with it is in fact joy. I remember growing up and being probably the World's most annoying teenager and mom always telling me, "you'll get it when you're a parent." Of course I have yet to live the teenage years with Harper, and I can honestly say I'm not in a really big hurry to get to them either, but I think I'm just starting to "get it." Our World is Harper. I must give my credit and adoration to Preston as well. He loves her with such an amazing love. He is her big, strong, calm daddy when I am losing my mind. He has the perfect football hold to make her happy and the biggest kisses that make her smile so big and I am forever grateful for him and his support and efforts in raising this little miss along side me.

The other night I was scrolling down my Facebook feed and I just had a moment of worry for Harper. I can't get over how full of crap this life is. I've always been able to focus on the good and try to ignore all the nasty and ugliness in the World but now that I have a child...especially a daughter..it's hard not to really look at this life and notice all the danger and ugliness that my child will have to face. I worry for her when I look at the magazine rack in the store or scroll online and find stories of cheating, and drugs, and abuse. I worry for her when I look at the World's standard of beauty and I wonder how I'm supposed to raise this little girl to have confidence and to know that she is in fact beautiful and that her body is a good little body and a gift when the rest of the World is practically screaming at her that she's not enough, telling her she's not pretty enough, or skinny enough, or tall enough, or happy enough. I just want her to know that she changed my personal standard of beauty and perfection. She is perfectly beautiful and I just hope and pray and plead that she realizes it. And now I'm realizing that I'm a full on mom now...I have joined the group of crazy women all across the World who constantly worry. It's crazy! I'm sure many can sympathize with my rant but I'll move on.

Harper these days:

still really likes to eat.. I don't know who doesn't though

has a great little schedule

would rather sleep in her bed that on us (I'm still not sure if I view this as a good thing or not)

stands on the bathroom counter and talks and smiles at herself-we are trying hard to capture this on video

likes to play with toys, or rather stare at them and grab them occasionally

thinks its hilarious when Preston yawns

LOVES her bink but still only the ones from the hospital

shoves her whole fist in her mouth constantly

is really confused by real animals particularly our friends' dogs

has an obsession with watching basketball-this one makes Preston very proud

can't have a good sleep without her swaddle sack on