:.three months.:

Harper turned three months old yesterday. How that happened? I have no idea. I can't handle how fast time is flying. Everyone warns you, "don't blink" "they grow up so fast" "they grow over night" and yet I didn't get it. I didn't let myself realize it and now I'm living it and crying on the inside..and sometimes the outside..at how fast its all going. My newborn isn't a newborn anymore. She's a full on baby that has a personality and a real schedule and does big baby things like coo, and play with toys, and stand up (with our help..obviously) and roll and I can't really handle it. 

Everyone is always so sweet in asking Preston and I how it's going and how new parenthood is. It honestly is great and we love it. We've had our moments of chaos and exhaustion in which we question why we decided to have a child or in which we swear we aren't having another. Then the sun rises and we've lived another  day and we are back to being filled with the purest joy. I'm realizing that being a parent means a lot of confusion, happiness, frustration, love, worry and annoyance but truly the biggest emotion that comes with it is in fact joy. I remember growing up and being probably the World's most annoying teenager and mom always telling me, "you'll get it when you're a parent." Of course I have yet to live the teenage years with Harper, and I can honestly say I'm not in a really big hurry to get to them either, but I think I'm just starting to "get it." Our World is Harper. I must give my credit and adoration to Preston as well. He loves her with such an amazing love. He is her big, strong, calm daddy when I am losing my mind. He has the perfect football hold to make her happy and the biggest kisses that make her smile so big and I am forever grateful for him and his support and efforts in raising this little miss along side me. 

The other night I was scrolling down my Facebook feed and I just had a moment of worry for Harper. I can't get over how full of crap this life is. I've always been able to focus on the good and try to ignore all the nasty and ugliness in the World but now that I have a child...especially a daughter..it's hard not to really look at this life and notice all the danger and ugliness that my child will have to face. I worry for her when I look at the magazine rack in the store or scroll online and find stories of cheating, and drugs, and abuse. I worry for her when I look at the World's standard of beauty and I wonder how I'm supposed to raise this little girl to have confidence and to know that she is in fact beautiful and that her body is a good little body and a gift when the rest of the World is practically screaming at her that she's not enough, telling her she's not pretty enough, or skinny enough, or tall enough, or happy enough. I just want her to know that she changed my personal standard of beauty and perfection. She is perfectly beautiful and I just hope and pray and plead that she realizes it. And now I'm realizing that I'm a full on mom now...I have joined the group of crazy women all across the World who constantly worry. It's crazy! I'm sure many can sympathize with my rant but I'll move on. 

Harper these days:

still really likes to eat.. I don't know who doesn't though

has a great little schedule

would rather sleep in her bed that on us (I'm still not sure if I view this as a good thing or not)

stands on the bathroom counter and talks and smiles at herself-we are trying hard to capture this on video

likes to play with toys, or rather stare at them and grab them occasionally

thinks its hilarious when Preston yawns 

LOVES her bink but still only the ones from the hospital

shoves her whole fist in her mouth constantly 

is really confused by real animals particularly our friends' dogs

has an obsession with watching basketball-this one makes Preston very proud

can't have a good sleep without her swaddle sack on

still wakes up at night once or twice..boooooo

smiles ALL the time...even when she's crying sometimes she still pauses to smile 

loves loves loves the bath or any form of water really

isn't very fond of her car seat 

...:::::::::....

some pictures from our three month old mini photo session

Our last 8 weeks!

I can't believe Harper is two months old! I feel like I am finally almost...maybe...sort of..getting the hang of this mom business. Harper is an excellent baby. She smiles more than any baby I have ever met at her age and we love it, she is such a happy baby. We love going to church with her because she smiles at literally everyone so it's really hard for anyone around her to concentrate. My favorite thing is getting to watch all the changes she makes and seeing her learn different things. She has started grabbing toys and holding them or shaking them and Preston makes fun of me but I get SO stoked when she does it. She loves her play gym but I'm learning she seems to get bored quickly- after about 10 minutes she is completely over it. She is growing like a weed. She got really tall out of nowhere and now she's our tall, skinny string bean. Her cheeks are on the rise again and they are getting even bigger which I didn't think was possible.

She has been a really good sleeper from day one and only wakes up once between 4:30-5:00 am to eat and then will go back to sleep until around 7 or 8.  She is really difficult to go out in public with because she likes to stay wide awake and stare at everything and everyone and then gets really cranky because she refuses to nap until we get home. So that's a real treat.

She is addicted to her binks but only likes the ones from the hospital. Instead of crying to let us know she's hungry she will now shove her whole fist in her mouth. She is starting to discover her feet and will stare at them and wiggle them and then her eyes get really big. We've have also been putting her in front of the mirror to look at herself but instead she just notices us in the mirror and seems really confused by the other small human she sees. Someday she'll realize it's her. She has a really strong neck until we put her in her Bumbo seat and then she decides she has no idea how to hold her head up anymore. That's pretty much what she is up to these days. Preston and I are loving being parents. We both agree that our marriage and friendship has grown so much since having her.

Here's some pictures